What’s your trouble “MEN?”

By Jade McLove

All my friends, are like,”whats my trouble? Men!” With the he, “just doesn’t get me?” While most men and even my own father, doesn’t understand most women…period! Am I shocked, that in 2016, at 45 years of age. I’m still hearing all the same complaint’s from my younger and older female friends today? No not really. Yet it’s a sad statement about our society at large.

Many men today, like to use a game called “control!” And, that goes for young and old dudes. They’ll do as they want, but don’t want us to do the same? I say; “screw that!” Look, if your man always seems to be on vacation without you, then how do you know that he isn’t alone? No, don’t rationalize this B.S to me! Because, 9 times out of ten, if he didn’t take you to play in the sand, its because, he didn’t want your sand at the Beach; “get me?”

No, I’m not proud of my cheating past, but, I like you, have one, because I was not born from an immaculate conception. So I’m like all the rest of you. Which makes me perfectly able, to tell you, that when your man starts giving you HEADACHES, about going with your girlfriends somewhere. It’s because he feels guilty about something, and doesn’t trust you, because he can’t and doesn’t trust himself!

How do I know, because I cheated on someone I loved; “it’s was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done to another human-being!” I was playing around with a Porn Star, sex machine, he was just a little bit strike that, (OK a lot hotter than my boyfriend. He doubled for John Holmes at the end of Boogie Nights). So I had a pager on me to get his call, and kept leaving, and lying, and hurting my boyfriend, to go and cheat on him with Tony Tedeschi in 1999-2003. Until one day my boyfriend found out about it, and that’s when we were, “over!” Oh, and the bonus for me was, that the porn star eventually left-me, for a really sloppy looking chick? A chick who kind of resembles a man! Anyway, this isn’t about my past history, which is really colorful. The thing and tie in, to the whole story is, that “I was always accusing my ex-boyfriend which I was cheating on of stuff, he really wasn’t doing, anytime he was trying to do anything! Why? Because I always thought he was cheating because I was cheating myself. Even though all he wanted to do was hang with his friends. P.S “I was a huge sinner before finding God.”

Now, I have many, many, girls who are friends, who rationalize their boyfriends bad treatment of them.  They rationalize every bad action that their man does. Some even rationalize away, said boyfriends Infidelity or (cheating), by blaming the other woman? Yeah, that makes sense…right?

That’s kind of like blaming the other Coffee guy, who didn’t even make your Coffee, for making it the wrong way; “right?”  Look! A man can’t get a hard on with a woman, unless he’s attracted to her, and since sex with women takes a mans penis to be erect to have it. The only person to blame for cheating, “is your boyfriend!”

He didn’t accidentally slip his penis into her (bleep!) It’s the relationship trip at all costs, and some women will use their boyfriends past history; with drugs, or alcohol, as the excuse for their mans penis, slipping into another woman’s private parts.

I know many woman will be offended that I worded it this way, but, it needs to be aggressively worded. To make an impact on these chicks out there, “who refuse to open their eyes to the truth!” Look! If you’re man is sleeping with another woman, and lying to you about it, “HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!” And, if you want to waste your life and your vagina, for a man, who treats your vagina like any other vagina? Then you really are dumber than a ROCK! Why? Because even if you hate yourself, eventually you have to realize, that you’re with a, “TOTAL DOUCHE BAG!” So when will all the women who allow this B.S to go on realize that, “they are special in this world and should find someone who really loves them?”

That is if you know what real love is? You do know what real love is…right? Well, real love has nothing to do with sex! As taught by Tony Tedeschi a Porn Star…?

So, if you got with someone over sex, “it’s probably not based on real love?” Remember, love is an emotion/something that you feel on the inside, and requires no physical-masturbation, via a sexual partner to reveal. So, “if you didn’t love the person before having sex with them?” Than you probably never were in love with that person to begin with. Why? Because love and sex are not the same-thing! If, you’re one of the million’s of women, who believe, that you have to have sex to fall in love. Please do the entire world a favor, and find a good Shrink!

Real love, requires getting to know someone, it requires, long conversations to see if the 2 of you understand each other. It requires, a physical chemistry before you have sex, because, just because you went and had sex before really knowing a man, does not mean, that you have really entered into that man’s heart. Why? Because, you gave the prize away! And now you’re value, as good girlfriend material, really has gone down the drain.  Why? Because Men like a good chase, and if they attain something or someone to easily, than they don’t want it anymore. Or they’ll treat you with disdain, use you, or abuse you.

I see this same-thing play out over and over again, in not just 1 or 2 friends, but in many, many girls, who were, or are friends today in 2016. So why don’t woman, have something called, “self-worth or self-esteem?” Simply put, many of their mothers, “didn’t have either! So many women weren’t taught to value themselves first!”

Many women believe, that if they give the “milk for free?” Then a loving relationship will ensure, and that’s usually the farthest thing from the truth. If you give a man everything, by not waiting to have sexual relations, you’ve basically given him a free-pass to disrespect you. Why? Because, with men, the harder they have to work to get something the more they want you, and respect you. But, if you do everything for them like a servant would, without ever telling them, “no!” They’ll physically, emotionally, and verbally run you over! Only to have you, satisfy their every desire. Like spoiled children often do, they’ll grow tired of you, and either A. Move on, B. never marry you, or C. Cheat on you! And this is coming from a reformed sinner/cheater, “so I know!” Oh, and men cheat, “especially if they feel like you never listen to them!” Listening, is one of those great skills, that people, all people, “should really learn how to do!”

In any loving relationship, you have to learn how to listen! Still, many of my friends are reading love into relationships, where there is no love left! But rather than breaking-up, they’ll sit there day after day, night after night, year after year, “saying they couldn’t find a better man?” Wasting their entire lives away, until they either A. Find out said boyfriend has mistress, or B. are being served with divorce papers, or C. are getting dumped for the other woman. I feel for my sisters out there. So I thought I write this for you.

So stop making excuses for the douche-bag your with today by not saying; “oh, you don’t know what it’s like to be in a relationship?” Well, at least I know, what real love is and isn’t! And I also know, what being in a REAL relationship is! People waste their whole entire lives, chasing after what they thought was “real love!” When in all actuality, there was never any real love there in the first place! Yes, I have many opportunities to go out with men, a 20 something year old man, just asked me out yesterday, when I was headed home. And I turned around and said to him; “I’m not in the relationship trip!” He looked amazed and said: “what do you mean?” All I did was turn around and say; “I am so very flattered that you thought to ask me out, but that’s just not what I’m into…sorry. I’m on a spiritual trip, with our Lord, or something like that (smiley face!)

Realize this, that many, many, thousands if not millions of Americans are addicted to “being in love!”

When love is the last thing they found. Love, does not require you to spread you’re legs, like a cheap hooker everyday, or every other day! Unless this “man?” has married you, than as your husband, you have to obey him, if the demand is a responsible one. Look, in any other situation, if you’re not married to the control-freak who’s bullying you today and tonight. Turn around and say; “I’m not your freaking wife! And I don’t have to a damn thing for you, if I don’t want to!” And if you live with a control freak, who thinks that you owe him (sex and your freedom) for allowing you to live in his presence. I really suggest, finding another place to live, or reminding him; “I DON’T SEE A RING ON THIS FINGER!” So that means, that I don’t have to OBEY YOU! You freaking control freak! See, because as women we really are all-powerful. If you don’t believe me, just stop having sex with your boyfriend for 1 week, and see how powerful you are then.

I know my worth as a human being, so I’m not about to hand my life over, to any worthless relationship in 2016. When most of the people in said relationships are for the most part “full of shit!” in regards to their relationship status anyway.

Many of these women, don’t really love said boyfriends/boy-toys either. Now, that’s just sad, to spin your heals, acting like you really care, when you’re faker than a DVD made in China.

Here’s one, why don’t you and your girlfriends, take a break from the “relationship trap?” And learn how to love yourselves, and each-other in a sisterly way today. Look, if it hasn’t worked for 20, 30, or 40 years — what makes you think continuing down that same path will work today? It’s not! Why? Because the “all you can eat Romances” aren’t real, because there is no-such-thing as PRINCE CHARMING!

No, you don’t have to tolerate your boyfriends, husbands, or even lovers bad behavior, above your own happiness. Why? Because, you have the right to find and have real happiness, and sometimes, a relationship won’t equal happiness. So rather than faking yourself out of your entire life (because time is what’s really valuable, because you can’t get that back!) You should take the time to know who you really are, and stop wasting every valuable moment in a bad relationship! Or trying to find a new one, until you figure out, “who you are first!” Because, how can you expect someone to love you for you, if, you don’t even know who, “you are?”

So peace out! I hope this helped some of you living in misery today. And I also hope, that you search your soul to realize, that allowing societal-dogma about having a Boyfriend, above you’re own happiness, “is B.S!” While also realizing that, “time is really the most valuable resource that mankind has!” Mankind, which includes women, so take the time, to spend the time, “to weed out the losers in your life today!” Thereby, making the world a better place tomorrow for everyone.